Entry 4: The 20’s Suck

Who am I? What is my purpose? Why am I even here?....

Sometime in our 20’s, something snaps.... Something changes. We are faced with a heavy truth. We come to a realization that life is not all its cracked up to be. It had a lot more challenges and roller coasters than we thought it would. Up and down, left and right, forward and backwards....Lately, that’s most of it. College takes up most of our time, we see less of family, less of friends. We grow lonely, tell ourselves this is for the better. School comes first. But school is making us miserable.... stress, fear, anxiety.... Why don’t we talk about this? What if we fail? What if this isn’t what we want to do anymore, what then, start over? Then come to realize, we wasted 3 years doing something that we hate... We’re soo tired... We don’t know if this is the right path? All our teachers and parents told us this was the best way to get a good future, but how do they know; do they even know you?

Now what if college wasn’t the path For you? U work at a minimum wage job, wanting more, but feeling stuck because school just wasnt for you. Maybe school was too expensive. You barely have enough money to pay rent, or eat healthy food. Then the weight begins to pile up. You look in the mirror and feel disgusted at the reflection. Even worse, now you have a baby on the way. How can you support a baby when you can’t even take care of yourself? What do you do now? You have to figure something out for your family. Now the stress and depression seeps in. You wonder how you let life defeat you like this? You wonder if there is a way out. Overworked and underpaid, this wasn’t the life you imagined it would be.

However, think outside the box. There are many other ways to make money without going to school. If school is not for you, do not panic and feel obligated to work a minimum wage job for the rest of your life. This is where lazy and comfort comes to play vs a hardworking and accomplished individual. How hard do you want it? You can start a business, get creative. You can do real-estate, be a truck driver, join the union, carpenter, painter, do stocks, transportation & distribution manager etc.... The options are limitless. You only fail when you give up on yourself. Keep going, even YOU can do it.

We need to stop getting depressed by looking at other people our age, and seeing all they have accomplished. Why compare yourself to them? They went a different route than you, and yes they were naturally smart and graduated college on time, but why does it matter what they are doing? You will get to where you have to be at your own pace. Why are we in such a hurry all of the time? Are we in such a rush to get older, work every single day of our lives, that we forget to enjoy the little things. Family are still there, friends are still there. You can still have fun even though you are not rich. You will make it, I promise. Just do it at your own pace, and if you fail, get back up again. Tomorrow is a new day, just make up for it.

Let's not forget to mention all of the internal turmoil we begin going through. Our past, whether painful or confusing: begins to resurface. We do not know who we are yet. In high school, we changed who we were in order to fit in, and unfortunately, bad habits have a bad way of following us to our adulthood. Pretending to be something that we weren't. Now you have to figure out who you want to be, your real self. You have to deal with any painful scars that have been affecting your judgement, actions, behavior, speech, and confidence. Why are you so timid? Why don't you speak up more? Why are you afraid to be judged, did someone put you down your entire life, tell you you weren't good enough? Why are you always anxious/nervous? Why do you continue to make the wrong decisions, no matter how hard you try?

Ask yourself these questions. YOU CANNOT MOVE FOWARD UNTIL YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF. I know it's a cliche phrase, but nothing has ever held anymore truth. You can't love anyone else when you look in the mirror in disgust. All of your relationships will be tested. Can I make my partner happy, am I even good enough for them? Who are my real friends? Were my parents good to me? Your circle gets smaller, but you begin feeling happier. Realizing the toxic people in your life were causing you unnecessary stress, and removing them was the best thing you ever did. If you feel fat, workout and eat healthy. If you feel ugly, remember that confidence is the most attractive trait. Someone out there will find you attractive. You may even be gorgeous, and have wasted so many years being unhappy. As you begin to accept these things, you feel happier. Your real self is finally free.